On life and love.

I have found myself in a funk lately. Although, I am unsure what the specific reason is, I think deep down inside I am aware of how changes in life are the root to my current disposition. I have had a tough life. A hard life. A life full of hardships, sadness, destruction, unhappiness, poverty, disillusion....you name it, I have been through it. & yet, I have always found the optimism in it. I have always held on tightly to whatever light at the end of that mysterious tunnel that I can fathom. I have worked hard, struggled, used every tear of disappointment to be my driving force towards happiness. Ultimately, that is ALL I want out of my life. Happiness. The happiness that is spelled out by a light heart; the kind of happiness that makes you laugh so hard your abs hurt and you can barely breathe. The happiness that makes you take a deep breath, look around, and simply beam. Where you appreciate everything and everyone around you.

& sometimes, some days, most days...I am there. But in keeping it raw and real, lately I have not been. I have found happiness throughout my day, but not that innate happiness that is contagious and what I believe is the reason I have been blessed with loved ones around me. Instead, I have felt frustrated; I have been able to cry, pretty much at command...I have doubted myself; doubted where I am in life and questioned where I am going.

But today...today, I see a beacon of light in the horizon. I feel as if I am evolving. I am coming out of my cocoon and peeking out into the sunshine to see what God has blessed me with. I am ready to truly confront where I am in life, who is around me, and embrace both the things in life that make me happy, and the people in my life who make me happy. Because ultimately, aren't we all just chasing our happy...?

Work Style-edition (while waiting for my oats), #ootd

I am in love with style & fashion. Growing up, I remember saying I wanted to be a pediatrician and make my patients clothes, haha!  I took a sewing class in high school and learned the basics of sewing. I remember making my own bathing suit for our swim class (and I still cannot swim- but my little stick, flat-chested body was happy in my lavender two-piece)! I joined tennis in high school because the skirts and bloomers were cute (#truestory), and quickly learned it required way more talent than a cute outfit- but I did learn, haha! 

I am guilty of my own fad styles. I went through a phase of wearing whatever Gwen Stefani (front woman of the amazing No Doubt wore- even rocked some form of hot pink hair for 5 years straight)! My freshman year in college, I would only wear clothes I made, upcycled or recreated. I would go with my amazing roomie, Ally to hit up our local Goodwills and secondhand stores and imagine what how I could change it into the creation in my head. I was cutting up my then-boyfriends (now husband and baby daddy's) t-shirts before there were tutorials everywhere on how to do it. My college friends would bring stack of theirs and I had it down to a science- in 5-6 minutes I could transform it all! Instead of a computer/laptop, I had a sewing machine on my desk (thank you, Ally for your awesome desktop Mac, or else I would have failed every class)! 

I would go shopping and tell myself I could make what I wanted instead (probably a result of growing up so poor)! Half of the time, I could, while the other half were such epic fails that I could put Pinterest fails to shame! haha!

In 2005, I started Cinnamon Clothing Co. My first baby! I loved it! But I couldn't keep up with orders on my own and needed to outsource which I was not ready to do because in 2010, Geoff was diagnosed with Cancer. So I put it in hiatus. Since then, life has just gotten in the way (and Cancer again), plus a baby (#odcm), and a career change. So in the midst of all of this I found that I haven't sewed in over a year but have so many projects and fabrics just dying to be cut! I sold my old machine that my beloved high school best friend bought me for my 17th birthday and Geoff found me the most amazing machine. I finally opened it three weeks ago and it is not working. I cannot figure it out as I am not a pro, as I really self-taught myself, and the cheapest estimate to fix it is $70- which I do not want to pay...Wah! 

So while I am drawing up new ideas to relaunch Cinnamon Clothing Co., I decided to focus on my own style for inspiration. I love to mix and match and dress up. I love to dress down. I love style! I am inspired by everything and everyone around me. I have a closet that still has most of my wardrobe from high school and college and reallllly need to clear out! I went two school years (minus my maternity leave) without repeating a single outfit at work, haha!

Anyway, because I'm sad that I can't sew, I have been taking pictures of my outfits while I wait for my daily overnight oats to heat up. So excuse the horrid lighting and my awesome teacher's lounge background but this girl gets a couple minutes of a break while I wait for my daily dose of oats (which by the way, needs a post of its own, haha)!

Also, someone PLEASE teach me how to selfie! Seriously, tip me away with selfie dos & don'ts because I am not good at these at all!

My sister-student did my hair here- how amazing is it!? Wish I could do it myself!

oh, hey, dirty rag that matched my chiffon blouse!

I, obviously, matched the tile on purpose!

Save the Date Video!

I, somehow, ran across our Save the Date video from four years ago! Geoff had just finished up his last round of chemotherapy and I wanted to do something different. He is so talented and can always bring to life our ideas! 

Check it out here: 

G & J Save the Date Video

02.26.11 from J Canela on Vimeo.

Cauliflower Pineapple Fried 'Rice'

I wish I could remember where I originally found this recipe- definitely a Pinterest find from a couple years ago! It is super versatile and each time I make it, I change the ingredients and my carb if choice! It is one of my favorite entertaining meals because the presentation is awesome! Anytime you can make food-in-food, it is a definite hit! Think mini apple pies in apples!

Details in the yum!

Ingredients:

-diced red onion (or scallions)

-diced red bell pepper

-garlic

-broccoli slaw

-shredded carrots

-shrimp (or whatever protein you prefer)

-whole pineapple

-rice or cauliflower or quinoa

-Bragg's liquid aminos or low sodium soy sauce

-whatever seasonings you prefer

-2 eggs

                             

1. Cut your pineapple in half lengthwise and scoop out all of the pineapple so you have the shell as bowls! Chop up the pineapple fruit! Depending on how round your pineapple base is, you may have to even it out so it sits evenly, by cutting a flat tiny base on the bottom.

*at this time, either cook your rice or quinoa or 'rice' your cauliflower. To 'rice' it, you just put it in your food processor until it looks like rice! Same as you would do with a cauliflower crust pizza.

2. Chop and sauté your onion, bell pepper and garlic.

3. Add your shrimp or protein and cook on medium until almost cooked through. Season as desired. We season with no-salt added seasonings or dried herbs. My favorite is something spicy like cayenne or paprika.

4. Add your broccoli slaw and shredded carrots- add as much or little as you want- or choose whatever veggies you have on hand- I had these and since they're already shredded, I went this route!

5. Drain it all! You are about to add your carb and you don't want it to get too soggy!

6. If you are doing the cauliflower, add it to your hot wok or pan and season it as you wish- I did garlic, sea salt and pepper. Pan fry it for a few minutes, then add your drained protein and veggies.

7. Scramble two eggs and add to the rest! Now add your soy sauce (we use Bragg's) to taste!

8. Garnish with cilantro and serve in your pineapple bowls!

* I usually season the shrimp with spicy spices but since Oliver was eating it too, I added Sambal Sauce to mine!

Hope I didn't miss a step and you enjoy it!

Healthy Pancakes- oh my!

There's something so very comforting about pancakes. On Sundays, my dad would make his special batch of pancakes- fluffy, buttery, round clouds of deliciousness. When Oliver was born, my mom and two sisters surprised me at the hospital. My dad was unable to make it because he was working (it was a Wednesday). But that Saturday morning, he arrived on my doorstep to meet his newest grandson. On Sunday morning, right before he had to leave, he made a huge batch of pancakes for us. It was the sweetest thing.

Unfortunately, pancakes are not the healthiest breakfasts out there. I have experiemented endlessly with recipes ( a lot can be found here- just search pancakes), and finally have a base that seems to not fail me time after time. Mainly because it's so very easy and foulproof! I struggle with my recipe creations because I tend to not measure and go by taste and texture. A little of this, a little of that, and a lot of oh- that would be good in it! Haha!

Check out this weekend's pancakes! I made extra batches for today since it is St. Patrick's Day and green is a must!

Delicious and healthy!

Fluffy, delicious, yummy, versatile, pancakes!

My pancake base:
-equal parts (I generally do 1/2 cup of each per person) of the following:

• old-fashioned oats
• cottage cheese*
• egg whites
• 1 tsp of baking powder
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract
• as much spinach as you can fit in your blender after adding the previous ingredient

Directions:

• Add old-fashioned oats to your blender and blend them (this is how I make my own oat flour. I buy an extra container of oats and it literally takes me less than 5 minutes to make a huge batch of oat flour that generally costs quadruple the price)!
• Add cottage cheese (The only cottage cheese I have found that is not filled with a shitton of weird ingredients is the Daisy brand).
• Add your egg whites (or whole eggs if you prefer); add spices, vanilla, baking powder and blend. 
• Finally, add as much spinach as your blender will still hold and blend away! The spinach is optional depending on the type of pancakes you are trying to make but seriously, why not?

Look at that fluffy perfection- & my fancy plasticware!

-Additional Add-in's/toppings

• your favorite spices (my defaults are cinnamon and pumpkin spice
• chia seeds
• ground flax
• peanut flour
• pumpkin puree
• almond milk
• chocolate chips
• nuts
• extracts (think mint, butter, etc)!
• fruit (banana, any berries)
• Greek yogurt/cottage cheese- have you ever had it together? It's the only way I eat my greek yogurt now!
• This particular picture has greek yogurt with 1 tbsp. of white chocolate no-sugar added jello pudding mix, a little bit of almond milk, dash of vanilla stevia, topped with fresh strawberries and sugar-free syrup! Yum!

Experiment & enjoy! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Peanut butter banana pancakes!

Elvis pancakes- peanut butter, chocolate chip, banana, turkey bacon pancakes for dinner! Hotdamn!

Buttermilk pancakes for Valentines day topped with greek yogurt and fresh berries and a berry jam (frozen berries, heated through and a tiny bit of stevia or honey added, then mashed)!

Blueberry and Banana Pancakes with Kale + Spinach! Baby approved!

Anxious little baby hands eating the rainbow!

Shamrock and pancake stacks with cottage cheese/greek yogurt/white chocolate pudding mix and gold sprinkles. With a fruit rainbow on the side! ;)