Mamahood Styled


Meet our beyond a miracle baby boy: Oliver D. Cruz Montgomery at 19 weeks!

How far along? 19 weeks! Almost halfway!
Weight gain: I haven't checked today but last time I did, I was up 8 lbs. I would estimate 7-9? 
Sleep: I've always been such a night owl but I keep reading that sleep must be amazing about! Not yet!
Best moment this week: Reading Geoff's first Facebook post in over a month! He posted our 19 week picture and had been soo eager to share the name(s) he chose with everyone! I really wanted Geoff to choose our baby's name. His grandfather had named his father, his father had named Geoff...It just seemed appropriate. And dude!! He survived Cancer TWICE! Let's keep it real, this man is GOLD! He has amazing steeze and I knew he would come up with something awesome. He had been contemplating a couple of names back and forth and I did eliminate a couple (8 years of being a teacher does that to you). For first names, he had two he kept going back & forth on: Oliver and Nixon. I loved them both but while Nixon made him think of awesome watches, I could only think of former President. No, thanks. But the name itself is pretty badass. Even then, I was open to be convinced of anything. He finally decided he was going to do both (two middle names)! Lol. The more he thought of it, the more he decided there needed to be more meaning to our only baby. So he posted on his Facebook how he came up with everything. Reading his words, excitement and love was the BEST! Here is his caption:
"It is with tremendous honor and excitement that I share with you all that our little man now has a name! Oliver D. Cruz Montgomery! I cannot even begin to explain the feeling of being able to name our child, the best of myself and my bette
r half! When my wife said she wanted me to name him, i was nervous and excited, and extremely touched, such an amazingly kind gesture! (love ya babe!) It was very important that our boy's name be something he would be proud of, a name with meaning! Oliver means "bringer of peace" which is exactly what he did during these last few chaotic months. My Grandpa's middle name was D, just the letter, so we want to honor him by keeping his memory alive and strong through our son. I liked Cruz because it is important for our boy to know and be proud of his heritage, his roots. Cruz meaning "cross" also pays homage to the fact that he truly is our "Miracle Baby!" plus it's pronounced "cruise" which is my favorite thing to do, and hope to pass on the family love of automobiles! We cannot wait til January to introduce you all to our little man, our beyond miracle baby, Oliver D. Cruz Montgomery!"
Miss anything?: wine & champagne!
Movement: August 28th, 2012 around 4:30pm mid reverse-push ups! I was in the middle of an intense HIIT workout and all of a sudden I felt a little ripple in my lower abdomen. I took note but continued a few more reps and felt it again! I stopped and exclaimed that I thought I had just felt the baby! Bre, who was working out with me, stopped in her tracks and ran over to my tummy. I pressed down on the post where I felt it and there is went, two more times! I am not 100% positive but I think it was it! Then last night, while laying in bed, I felt another similar ripple twice. <3
On Thursday, we had an anatomy ultrasound with a technician at our clinic. I was supposed to have a full bladder going in and show up 15 minutes early. I arrived at 9:45am already having drank about 50 ounces of water. I felt like I could barely walk up to sign in, haha! I didn't get seen until 10:35am!! Longest, most uncomfortable wait, ever! The tech kept laughing and telling us "Once your baby is born, PLEASE tell him that he gave the ultrasound guy a really hard time!" Our little guy would NOT stop moving all over the place! The tech told us three times "You two are in for it!! I just want to know who is going to be the one running after him." Our midwife told us that they can tell SO much about the baby's personality from the way they act in the womb, so that she also thinks we're in for it. "I'll show you Miracle Baby, Mom!!" hahaha! Oh, boy! Literally! [Which he also confirmed our baby is a boy, haha]! I can't wait until I constantly feel him and I am sure of it. I especially cannot wait until Geoff can also feel him move.
Food cravings: I decided last week that I needed to get myself in check. I am definitely taking advantage of being pregnant but I don't want to overdo anything. So my rule is super healthy, clean eating all week long, for all meals. & weekends can include cheats! <3 Geoff has been craving junk so I am making him wait til the weekend (as in Saturday or Sunday)! I told him earlier this week that I was craving spaghetti. I don't even remember the last time I ate spaghetti! The sweetest thing: today he made me spaghetti!! He said he wanted to be up more and even went to Albertson's on his own (without telling me while I was at work, of course--why, I outta!!!!). But he bought everything and then made me dinner. I can't even remember the last time he made me dinner. I felt so special! <3
Anything making you queasy or sick?: Still trying to get rid of my daily headaches. 
Gender: Badass Baby Boy Montgomery! Feeling so good about this at this point. The fear I wrote about last week is still present but not overbearing like it has been! I am happy to move on from those feelings and I know Geoff is, too. Releasing all of that weight was really therapeutic; so glad I did. :]
Labor signs: Not yet but I keep thinking about it! & thinking that he will be here before his due date; I think because of how active he is!
Symptoms: I think I'm starting to show! As in looking a little bigger than full!! At least to those who know what my belly usually looks like!
Belly button in or out?: round innie! I wonder when the time will come to switch out my belly button ring!
Wedding rings on or off?: on 
Happy or Moody most of the time?: Work has been super busy and hectic. I have eaten lunch at my desk all week while working- today I didn't even get time for lunch! Being a counselor and a teacher is tough. Mentally and emotionally exhausting as well. Definitely happy for the three day weekend. This counselor needs a mental health day! But overall, I'm so happy that Geoff and I are focusing on our baby who deserves all the love and attention in the world! 
Looking forward to: Geoff's Dirty Thirty! No idea what we'll do because I don't know how active he will be in 5 days, but we'll see! I also ordered the crib last night, the fabric for the curtains/accessories, and this weekend I'm planning on going thrift store shopping for a dresser and glider. I want to go look at paint, too! Can't wait to work on the nursery!
I'll end with this picture that cracked us up. The tech gave us more pictures of our baby including one that says "It's a Boy!" So cute! But this one cracked us up so much. Apparently, the tech took a picture of only the baby's lips because they're so big! Here you can see the tip of his nose, and both his upper and bottom lip; his little mouth is open! How crazy/funny/cool is this?!



My entire life I wanted two boys. I grew up with only sisters and a mom and it was DRAAAAMA! I didn't want to go through the craziness that girls are, so I have always said I wanted boys. Once I found out I was miraculously pregnant, the craziest thing happened. All I wanted was a baby girl. A litte girl I can teach to be strong, independent, intelligent, a go-getter in life without the drama. A little girl with good self-esteem and a willingness to help others. Enough selflessness to be aware of those around her and enough determination to reach her goals, big or small, and never ever believe that she couldn't achieve them. One night, I vividly dreamed of the day I would decide to paint her little toddler nails...a bright crimson to match her vivid life and personality! We would have an amazing relationship and I would be able to give her all the love, encouragement and motivation I never had. I, inevitably, started envisioning her nursery. A crystal chandelier here, put aside ornate frames, the diamond and Spanish barbie doll and the Gwen Stefani dolls I had collected, haha...Yet all this hoping and planning happened in mere minutes in my mind. It's crazy how our minds work, right? You go through an entire lifespan in seconds. Yet, those minutes brought me joy. I immediately knew it was silly and wishful thinking because I was going to have a boy. I just felt it. No, I'm not psychic. Yes, there's only a 50% chance of this prediction being correct, but my feeling was so strong. I kept telling Geoff, "I feel bad wanting a girl so bad, because I know we are having a boy."

The Chinese Birth Calendar claimed it was a girl. The conception date claimed a girl. The rapid heartbeats of anywhere between 178-155 claimed it was a girl. Two of the doctors we saw predicted girl. One was SO sure. Geoff started believing it was a girl. I refused to let myself get excited. But I couldn't get that silent, persistent wishful thought out of my mind.

Then around 13 weeks came around and my midwife asked if we were going to want to know the gender. "Not until it's 100% sure," I told her. I already was planning a gender reveal party for the following month (this weekend, actually) and had chosen the ultrasound place in San Diego. She exclaimed, "Well, there's nothing to wait for, you're having a Miracle Baby Boy!!!" I smiled, while holding Geoff's hand and she went through and pointed out the proof, over and over. She printed out DOZENS of pictures for us and labeled each one. I was in shock. We exited the office, Geoff walked me to my car and I broke down and started sobbing like I was grieving. I was so ashamed to feel this way. Our baby is a miracle...a REAL miracle. Yes, I am aware that ALL babies are miracles, but seriously, this baby is beyond. A true gift that medically, was/is not supposed to be here. What right do I have to feel this way, to react this way? I have felt like such a horrible person. The absolute opposite of what a mother-to-be should be. Geoff seemed bummed, too, but more worried for me. He has ALWAYS wanted to be a dad. and a husband. He's one of those guys that is just meant to be....
I, on the other hand,...being a wife...being a mother...not really in my close horizon. Career and education drove my existence. But this baby, gave me the vision of being a mom. Except, to a little girl.

I felt depressed. Half because I wanted to not feel this way and just celebrate this precious life. & the other half because I was grieving the loss of my split-second, made-up fantasy of what motherhood would be like for me. The one shot we would have at naturally conceiving. I am forever grateful that I am getting the opportunity to create life that I honestly thought I wouldn't get to experience with my husband. I really am. But I couldn't find the ecstatic nature I knew for sure I would have if it was a little girl. We decided to go to one of the fancy offices with high tech equipment and overpay to confirm the gender....Still a boy.... Now more convinced than ever.

Meanwhile, a lot of people around me were so self-assured we were having a boy. So sure of themselves, it was annoying. I cringed and it tugged at my heart every time someone would tell us. Then there started to be more people telling us they thought it was a girl....& my heart bonded with them. I started hearing more and more about friends of ours or people around us who kept having babies in hopes of the gender they wanted. Without us sharing what we felt, our baby's gender, they would explain how they cried for months or didn't fall in love until they met their baby. Psychologically crazy, but honest and raw. It made me really sit down and evaluate why I was feeling the way I was.

Then one night it hit me...hard. As I sat across from Geoff's hospital bed in his 10 day stay after an intensive 8+ hour surgery with major complications, I realized why I was so sad and terrified to have a little boy. Why my idea of having a little boy my entire life changed to a precious little girl. I know what it is like to sit across your spouse and be his main caregiver in the toughest of times. I know what it's like to feel like your soulmate is not going to make it. I can vividly channel in the pain that is felt to see your everything start to depreciate and crumble physically and mentally in front of your eyes. It is a position, a situation I would never wish upon anyone. And unfortunately, I know what it's like to feel that twice. Your whole world turned upside down and you find yourself griping for air when you're alone because in front of the world, in front of him you must be strong. You must hold it together, be positive and happy because there is no other choice that we have given ourselves. I know what it's like to a be a girlfriend, a wife, a best friend, a soulmate seeing her everything almost die. & even see a part of them die in front of you...and now...with a little boy...OUR little boy...there will be a possibility that I may experience this as a mother...

Through all of this there is a constant question that each doctor and nurse asks as they try to understand why this patient is so sick at such a young age, multiple times...."Does Cancer run in your family?" And we always reply "Not at all."

& now it does...

The family we are creating, our little miracle family...well, now, this Monster runs in it. A horrible, threatening, cruel, unforgiving beast that can pop up at any given time, as it has, now twice in our own lives...and this originating Cancer...well, yes, there are various kinds...but this one is specific to males. Testicular Cancer...

I finally understand why my visions of pigtails and nail polish replaced those of a little man. Because our little man is now suceptible to this wretched disease. Because even though it is not healthy to live your life terrified, I don't want our little boy to have that in his future. There's nothing set in stone that he will also get this horrid beast. But the possibility now exists. Just like Geoff getting Type I Diabetes when he was a little boy and his siblings not. Just like that...No, I don't plan on living my life in constant paranoia and fear..but right now, at this moment, can you blame me?

When this finally hit me, and when Geoff confirmed those were his biggest fears, too...well, it was a hard night for us. I know, we know, our baby boy will be amazing. I've always said the world needs more Geoffs. He is so amazing, sweet, kind, funny and intelligent. Our little boy gets to be like his father. His first hero will be the first man I ever truly believed in wholeheartedly. He will, hopefully, acquire all the amazing attributes his Daddy possesses. I can still teach him everything I wanted to. I can still give him everything I didn't have. & for once in my life, I can teach a little boy since birth how to grow up and become the man I never had in my life as a child. This I am positive and sure about. Wholeheartedly.

We have an amazing journey ahead of us, but also a terrifying one. I am so blessed and honored to be given the opportunity to carry our Miracle Baby. I pray every single day, throughout my day, that this baby is healthy and leads a healthy life. I am scared, vulnerable and frightened to the core. I know I am happy. Yesterday, when we shared the news, I thought it would help me get more excited and thrilled since this is our amazing reality. I did for a little bit and then I went ahead and felt sad again. I'm sure all these hormones attribute to this, though. Geoff suggested I talk to my friends about this....and so here I am divulging my most raw emotions in writing...

Overall, I am so blessed and happy for this baby. I am working hard everyday to not let the fear that has been consuming me lately overshadow the beauty of this all. We get a Jefe, Jr. We even are pretty sure we named him, and that has helped SO much to be able to call him by his name. I know our bonding will grow more and more as Geoff heals and we can focus on our Miracle Baby...Boy... :]
I just know it. I cannot wait until I'm holding this precious boy in my arms and feel that I can protect it from anything that comes our way...

So I leave you with my raw and humbling confession & hope that if anyone has ever felt this way (hopefully for not as serious reasons as these), can supportively understand and empathize.

Week 18...It's A....

18 weeks, 1 day. I can't believe there's
a 5.5 inch Baby Boy in there! 
How far along? 18 weeks, 1 day. I am SO looking forward to being 20 weeks because it will mean we are halfway done. I also hope that by then I will have a noticeable, distinguishable baby bump. So far, it still looks like I ate too much, lol. If it is looking cute by then, maybe I'll reveal at work/school! [Most of my co-workers know but my students have no clue]!
Weight gain: I've been retaining water like crazy this week! 6-7 lbs. It's so insane to think I've gained that much (which I know isn't a lot for being 18 weeks) and to think I will still gain about 20 more! Eek! I am noticing the weight gain in my thighs! Of course my belly is expanding but my thighs are looking large and in charge!
Sleep: I'm working on it now. I got good sleep for one night and since then I haven't been able to. But I desperately need to!
Best moment this week: Hands-down hearing that Geoff will NOT need Chemotherapy!!! It was elation! Best news we have heard about Geoff's health in months!!! He is now an official two-time Cancer SURVIVOR! Our baby is so lucky to have such an amazing dad. 
Miss anything?: Yes, a bottle of wine and champagne. Needing it desperately!!! We are throwing out ideas for a Babymoon, possibly to the East Coast and it kinda makes me bummed that I won't get to drink :/
Movement: My midwife said by now I will feel it. But so far nothing. She said it may be because I'm so preoccupied with Geoff and being sick that I don't tune into it. We got to see our Baby Miracle yesterday and it was the most inactive we had seen him. He was taking a nap and was face down. lol. We did see him sucking his thumb and drinking/eating. Idk, he kept opening and closing his mouth. He moved around a bit but not like every other time where he's flipping and going crazy. I still think he's going to have a crazy personality and we're totally in for it!
Top left: profile; Top right: hand/fingers;
bottom left: hands at face/thumb sucking;
bottom right: profile with confirmed Momma's big ol' lips!
Food cravings: Nothing specific comes to mind. I eat so healthy and great during the day and dinner always ends up a mess, haha. But I figure this is the one time in my life that I get to do this. Contradictory to eating as healthy as possible for my growing baby, lol! But I'm milking it. ;) Yesterday, I told Geoff that from now on, every meal will be our normal healthy stuff and weekends will be a splurge. He agreed, but I hope he sticks me to it because he is my number one enabler! 
Anything making you queasy or sick?: Last Monday night, I got sick (like cold/flu symptoms). Achy body, headache, sore throat, coughing, sneezing. Tuesday, we left to get Geoff's results in Tucson and by Wednesday/Thursday, we was living downstairs and I was upstairs. Quarantined from my own husband. At a time we should be celebrating and rejoicing! Go figure! Friday evening, I was feeling a bit better so I hung out with him on separate ends of the room but still slept separately. We are spending all day today separate too. Hopefully by tonight/tomorrow, I'm good. I woke up feeling horrible but I noticed I feel worse at night and in the morning. I just would hate to get him sick. I've seen him cough with his staples and it was heartbreaking. I also want to give his immune system a fighting chance. He hasn't been around anyone in so long. He is so tough. I'm holding it together with being sick (I haven't gotten sick in a year or two) but inside I want to complain. But he has beat Cancer twice, and hardly ever complains. Definitely puts things into perspective! :)
Gender: It's a boy! We finally revealed to everyone (including parents) yesterday evening on Facebook! It was awesome to finally get it off my chest! I was SO nervous while our pictures loaded. I had some pretty awesome ideas for a gender reveal but would need Geoff's producer skills and he is in no shape to do anything like that yet so we went the simple route. Geoff said he didn't want anything that was already popular- no colored balloons popping out of a box and no cakes with colored filling. Although both I was planning on using for our original reveal...One of our loves had taken a picture with a photo app a few weeks ago that we thought was the coolest thing in the world; it made me smile so huge in the hospital. She told me it was an app and I casually mentioned how cool it would be if we could do gender signs or the alphabet. She told us you could! So we figured that would be a cool but easy way to reveal. We had already made a mustache on an ultrasound picture so decided to use both of them together. Good reactions from our loved ones!
Our Gender Reveal Announcement
I loved hearing everyone's guesses beforehands, except the super pushy ones that claimed to know exactly what the gender was. Listen, you're not psychic and your "feeling" is either going to be right or wrong, 50/50- call it what it is, a lucky guess! 
Sidenote rant: Being pregnant, has made me irritable, haha. People can be so self-righteous and before, the psychologist in me would rationalize and never let it bother me, but now, it is simply annoying. The other thing that I am noticing, is that I am giving some friends too much IN. I don't know how to explain it...I suppose, I am sharing in these super special and/or personal things going on in our lives (mainly Geoff's medical condition and our Miracle Baby), and it is like hearing today's weather. No big deal. I've always been a giver in relationships/friendships. But I think I'm going to start pulling back because what's the point. Someone bigger and more important than ourselves is about to come into our lives. I rather spend all my energy on him than on making people special in my life that either don't seem to appreciate it or don't reciprocate. (Not that anything is done for reciprocity). Being a good friend is something I pride myself in. When someone reciprocates that I want to make them feel like they are on top of the world. But I think I blindly have common-sense expectations that need to be eliminated in order to not be surprised by people's reactions. Last night, Geoff had a talk with me and told me that this is our life...and I work hard to make each close friend in it feel like they are important and the only one. But that I need to stop doing that because it is something that can become customary and expected from me. Yet, when I need it reciprocated, it is non-existant. He's so calm and rational. I pray our baby boy is developing this part of his personality. 
Labor signs: Not yet :) 
Symptoms: Daily headaches, still. Which my midwife told us yesterday is not normal at this she wants to make sure I am staying properly hydrated (I drink only water, a minimum of half a gallon a day- maybe I need more?) and rest...which I know I don't get enough of, at all, ever.
Belly button in or out?: innie! But definitely round instead of oval.
Wedding rings on or off?: still on
Happy or Moody most of the time?: Happy but sick! But last night I was sad. 
Looking forward to: No longer being sick! & Geoff being healed! Once, especially the latter is done, we can do all the fun stuff- like nursery painting and organizing!


Week 16 [and kinda 14 & 15]...

It is the last night of Week 16 and I just had to get a picture in. My belly is always bigger at the end of the night so I took this one before I stuffed my face like the inner fat girl I have always been, that I am sure will make her debut sooner than later! My belly is a lot bigger than these pictures at this very moment, but it's my food baby on top of our Miracle Baby...I think! :)
Growing Baby Bump! Don't mind my messy haven of a closet-
it's been a rough week but it's still my favorite part of my house!
Things in the Montgomery household have been so hectic these last few weeks. On August 1st we arrived in Tucson, AZ to prep for Geoff's big surgery. We knew it would be a big surgery but never realized how huge it really would end up being. He had many unforeseen complications (the biggest tumor being a lot bigger than expected -the size of a lemon; about 6 more smaller tumors than originally expected; his right kidney was removed because after removing the tumors from it, there wasn't anything functional left; and his inferior vena cava (right aorta) was also affected and was removed & reconstructed- out of a material like raincoat material!! Insane! 81 staples, a chest hole to drain liquid from his lung & chest cavity, and 10 days later.... we were finally home. What went on in the hospital is beyond explanation. Sooo many complications arose that are simply too long to list- from transfusions, no food or liquids for 8 days, catheters, sitting/walking for the first time, etc...the list is endless. Once we arrived home, I was behind work one week and going back in 2 days.

Tomorrow is finally Friday of the first week of school and it has been the longest week ever. I am beyond exhausted and I feel lonely at times. We both haven't had a full night's sleep in 17 nights and counting and it is definitely taking its toll. One of the things that has been completely overshadowed by all of this is our Baby brings tears to my eyes that this beautiful experience is passing us by without us being able to take it in the way it deserves. Geoff said that this baby is learning to be tough like us, early on! As much as I agree, there's this protective side of me that thinks that our baby shouldn't have to be tough yet...In all honesty, although my heart is absolutely in this baby, my mind only revolves around Geoff. I know that all of this will pass soon and we will be celebrating our two-time Cancer Survivor (did I mention our discharge diagnosis read "Residual Testicular Cancer"- scary)! He unfortunately, got an infection in his incision and chest hole site and our follow-up appointment was moved up to this upcoming Tuesday. We are hoping the staples will come out then and we will be told we do not need chemotherapy.

I have missed pictures of our baby bump and contemplated taking them in the hospital (where we celebrated Weeks 14 and 15) but I just wasn't there mentally & emotionally...the second day we were there, I started cramping incessantly and had to call my midwife. It was kinda scary. I ended up being exhausted and dehydrated from the trip. Thank goodness!

Our Miracle Baby Montgomery keeps growing and appears to super HEALTHY!

I still kinda have the little lines for my upper abs and the lines down the side!
 I can see my pink/purple Cancer ribbon for Geoff, Vero & Bridget? Love my heroes.

How far along? 16 weeks, 6 days! I cannot believe we are three weeks away from being halfway done. I have a feeling I will finally look pregnant around then! At least I hope so. I have a bad obsession with looking up bellies that are as far along as me; 80% of them are bigger. I don't mind but I am also looking forward to looking pregnant so that I can feel and celebrate this pregnancy like it deserves. :)
Weight gain: About 5 lbs. 
Sleep: 17 nights and counting of no solid sleep- SO looking forward to this weekend. I have work early this Saturday but hey, I have to workout anyway! I have had two 12-13 hour days this week at work (out of the four I've worked this week) and it has been so draining!
Best moment this week: Nothing baby related this week :( BUT Baby's Daddy is improving tremendously despite his infection!! He is walking on his own- quite fast, going up and down the stairs a little bit, and even got to go on a car ride to the bank today! Conversations exhaust him, as well as sitting up for a long time but it is all part of his healing...Hope he's ready for our Tuesday roadtrip!
One of the best moments while in the hospital though, that I think we forgot about 5 minutes later (so sad) was that I FINALLY got the results from our early genetic testing and our baby appears to be HEALTHY as can be!!!!!!!!!!!! This has been a huge, amazing relief for us and our doctors because they are having us undergo more testing than normal to make sure due to all of Geoff's chemo. Now that this initial test back with such great results, I don't think I want to take anymore. Our baby is ours and we will deal with whatever comes our way as it comes...I think...
Another thing that has been amazing this week is anytime I get everyday texts, voicemails, etc. from our bestests'. I have been a bad friend and not calling anyone for so long (although, I will text a lot- just not ready to talk-talk). Yet, the girls I talk to every single day normally, my baby sis, B and Roomie call and leave their awesome voicemails, texts and messages. They are being so patient with me and I am so appreciative. I also received the sweetest snail mail package from Roomie, I have to take pictures of it this weekend to show it off! Bre and Aaron dropped off an amazing dinner/dessert, Becca and the kids dropped off an amazing thought-out care package, Geoff's mom brought us Chile Pepper, and tonight Vero dropped off healthy quinoa! I cannot explain how helpful and touching this has been! It really makes me feel less alone and supported through this tedious process. I think everyone is trying to give us our space and let us be, but it has gotten really lonely around here. Last time we went through this, everyone was always around so it felt so good. But this time with his surgery being so huge, not being ready for visits, etc., it's been harder.
Miss anything?: Honestly, right now, I'd do anything for a bottle of wine...with my LC and I's cream cheese/pesto with Wheat Things and organic carrots, lol! All the bottles of wine in my house are haunting me and it seems like something that would make me feel better! Sad but true, haha!
Movement: I read that between now and Week 20, mommies may start to feel it!
Food cravings: Oh goodness, my inner-fat girl has been in full effect lately! I am so grateful that I still have the energy (most days) to workout hard although I am POSITIVE I am taking in more junk calories/fat than I am burning. While at the hospital, I BodyRocked every other day and ran one HIIT mile. Eating was hard because I would usually be hours later than I should have been eating and the selection was terribly limited. 
Now that we're home, I eat SUPER healthy all day long- but once I get home it's been a different story. My portions have always been out of control and I am a known binge eater- always have eaten more than Geoff. On our first date ever, we went to In n Out. I ate my double-double...then finished off his! haha! So that's no surprise. 
But I have been "allowing" myself to have the junk that for years I have deprived myself of. Pizza from Round Table is my faave, ranch dressing, wings, Chile Pepper, fast food (even started saving the coupons that for years I would immediately throw away), etc. And since our household has been upside down lately, it has been SO hard to even think about making dinner. On the night's that I have gotten home before 8pm, I am starving and just want something quick. Geoff's mom dropped off Chile Pepper last night and I had it for a late dinner and leftovers for tonight's. The only time I had a healthy meal was when our Bre brought us delicious healthy homemade food. Her husband made us a dozen huge chocolate chip with walnut cookies (my favorite) and I have had SEVEN of them this week! Ridiculous! Not to mention we have ice cream in the freezer and the last three nights I have made sure to have some (ice cream sandwiches)! Ugh, I need to find the energy and time for homemade healthful meals like I always have! In our typical lives, I eat super duper healthy every single day and then allow myself to splurge on the weekends. It feels like these roles of food have switched. Is this normal? Ugh, and unfortunately, my metabolism has slowed down so much :(
Anything making you queasy or sick?: My heart is sick. :( But luckily, I have been feeling fine although I had a HUGE headache for a week. 
Gender: I wish I could say so I could start celebrating and purchasing items and getting the nursery ready. Geoff really wants to be active and alert when we do and I am being patient until then. Never in a million years did I think I'd be THIS patient but I am perfectly okay with waiting since him getting better is my #1 priority right now. But I can't wait til this Baby is #1---and I can refer to it as its gender! 
Labor signs: Not yet :) 
Symptoms: Just growing!
Belly button in or out?: Still innie. I have been wearing looser shirts that I purchased for back to school. All my clothes has always been skin tight and I didn't want my students to think I had gotten fat over the summer, haha. So I figured I'd wait to confirm anything until I am obviously showing (hoping it'll be by the 5th month). Anyway, due to the longer shirts, I don't know when it'll be time to change my belly button ring to the flexible one, lol! I am digging these looser shirts though because they're pretty and in style right now- you know, those button up chiffon-like tops? 
Wedding rings on or off?: on and loose this week. Weird!
Happy or Moody most of the time?: Eek. Grateful for my husband still being by our side...Grateful for our friends, family, and people who do not even know us who are praying for him day in and day out...Grateful for all this love.
But sad. & exhausted.
So I'll go with moody, haha!
Looking forward to: My two babies being healthy! <3

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