// breastfeeding + pumping 101 //

I have been receiving a lot of messages lately inquiring about breastfeeding/pumping tips. I feel pretty well versed in this, as I struggled immensely with both babies but was able to maintain a positive breastfeeding journey with both! I ended up nursing Oliver until past a year and a half and my goal with Luna is to make it 1 year (we are at the 5 month mark now). Please keep in mind that these tips worked for me and each baby is different (case and point: my Oliver and my Luna are night and day with their nursing). Also, #fedisbest, so do you, boo!

Both Oliver and Luna were born with lip ties AND tongue ties which made is incredibly painful (I'm talking legit excruciating, toe-curling-razor blades every time they latched on- pain- and then it continued throughout gulp of milk attempt)! With Oliver, it took a bit for anyone to believe that his tongue/lip ties were issues (including his pediatrician at the time, the hospital ENT, and two nurses)- but eventually, I found a lactation consultant that I skyped with from New York, as well as my own LC, and we found a specialist in San Diego who solved it all for us! Because it had been a couple of months, we had to take Oliver to the chiropractor and massage therapist for sacral cranial therapy to help re-teach him to use his mouth properly! With Luna, I knew exactly what to look for and to advocate for us! The hospital pediatrician told me her tie was nothing but I was already in so much pain that I knew I needed it fixed. A second pediatrician came in and told me not to worry about it. But I knew this had a solution (and can totally see why many mamas are told not to worry about it and end up struggling so much)! At 5 days old, she had the procedure done and unfortunately, it didn't fix anything. I had to take her back 3 days later because her tongue tie was actually deeper but immediately after she latched on, I felt a difference! Yay to their amazing Pediatric Dentist who did it locally!

Tip #1: breastfeeding should NOT be excruciatingly painful! Look for lip and tongue ties and know that not all doctors will agree with you. 

With Oliver, I started pumping immediately (while at the hospital) because I was so nervous my milk wouldn't come in and I'd starve my baby. I ended up creating an oversupply and foremilk/hindmilk imbalance that I swear is worse than an undersupply. The positive of this was that even after I stopped nursing him, I had SO much milk and was able to feed him for so much longer and share with whomever needed some. With Luna, I didn't start pumping until she was about a month old and I only pumped once a day early in the morning when I was most full, in order to start a back-to-work stash. I was careful not to create an oversupply and really stick to supply and demand!

Tip #2: decide when you will start pumping and don't go overboard with too much, too fast. Let your body regulate your baby's needs, especially in the beginning. Once your milk supply is established, pump as you need. (Think: are you pumping so someone else can feed the baby and you can get a break? or are you saving for a rainy day or back to work?) You just want to be mindful that the more you pump, the more your body will produce- supply and demand!

With Oliver, I had a huge supply, I would pump and get enough for at least 2 bottles, maybe even 3! With Luna, I'm lucky if I get enough for 1 bottle, sometimes 1.5. Once in a great while, I get enough for 2 bottles. They each took 4 ounces starting at 3 months and that amount did not increase over time. Breastmilk changes to meet the baby's demands- from fattier to lighter for their needs. It's freaking amazing!! Oliver clusterfed ALL THE TIME, while Luna clusterfed for the first 6-8 weeks and then went to every 2-3 hours and is still the same; she currently takes 3-4 oz in a feeding. Oliver also comfort nursed 24/7; Luna gets mad if she's tired and I try to nurse her, haha! Again, each baby is so different. Oliver still has trouble going and staying asleep, never slept through the night; Luna slept 6 straight hours the night we brought her home and always has given us a long stretch through the night (with an off night every now and then). The one thing that has been true for both, and I think applies for the majority of babies, is supply and demand- the more you put your baby to the breast, the more your body will produce. Don't worry if your baby is feeding every hour on the hour (or if your baby feeds for only 10 min- ahem, Luna; or for 45 minutes- ahem, Oliver), your body is producing what they need- even if they are hungry right after! I find that we freak out and think they are starving and we are not making enough, but 9/10 times we are! But we get so worried that we think otherwise. Also, remember that your baby's stomach is marble sized when it is born and your milk is super filling so a little goes a long way! Lots of skin-to-skin, take a stay-at-home-nursing-vacay where all you do nurse that baby around the clock!

Tip #3: if you want your body to produce more milk, put your baby to your breast as often as possible- preferably skin-to-skin. & try hard not to overthink anything! If your baby wants on all the time, it's what your baby may need at the time. Always look at wet diapers and that your baby is gaining a bit at each weigh in.

Having great products also helps, but there's so much on the market, it's hard to decide what to buy AND what will your body respond to. The two things that are tried and true are toooons of water (I'm talking if you think you drink enough, you need more; I shoot for a gallon a day and sometimes I need more than that); you also need a well-balanced way of eating. There are so many foods that are said to boost your supply and a quick Google search will lead you there. Aside from those two things, you need a good pump (I swear by my Spectra S1- it's a closed-system, rechargeable, and so much more gentle than the Medela Pump-in-Style I used with Oliver, which mostly everyone uses but I really don't care for). It's important to make sure your flanges fit properly (when I was using flanges, I had to buy different ones to fit me) and you will need a hands-free pumping bra! I don't currently use flanges; instead I use Freemie cups which fit into my regular nursing bra or sports bra and I don't have to change in and out of my bra and top every pump! I love them except for them not being super clear so sometimes I have to readjust multiple times to make sure the right part is being pumped, haha! I've also learned to start my pump before I put them on so I can instantly see what part is being sucked in (otherwise, if it pump the wrong part, you'll end up with zero milk). I also don't trust it's measuring so after I pump, I put them in a bottle, then a  storage bag. I pump on the way to work, and twice during my work day. I pump for 15-20 minutes max each time. Medela makes awesome wipes for your pump parts and a sanitizer ziplock bag that is amazing because you can sanitize it in the microwave! Lanisoh storage bags are my favorite but I don't like pumping into them- I I also use separate washing brushes for all my breast pump and bottles! An extra set of pump parts is always nice if you are pumping while at work, too- not necessary for just the occasional pumping though! When storing my milk, I only store in 4 oz or less amounts. My favorite bottles are Comotomo! I used them for both O and Lulu! If I am consistently not pumping enough, I power pump- google it so you can learn all about it!! Also, a silicone manual pump works amazing at catching the other side, especially in the beginning when your supply is all over the place and your milk isn't regulated.

Tip #4: Be ready to pump with the right pump, flanges, and parts! 

A support system while breastfeeding and pumping is key to your relationship with this, too! Of course, having the support of your partner and/or family is great! But stay true to what you want to do. This includes your admin if you are working! Know your state laws and don't be afraid to use them. When I was nursing Oliver, I had my own office and could come and go as I pleased so I didn't inconvenience anyone. Now that I'm teaching, I felt SO bad inconveniencing anyone to cover my class in order to pump but everyone has been SO supportive and willing to help!
In the first few weeks post-birth, I went to multiple Lactation Consultants even though I was super familiar with nursing- I don't know all that there is to know and I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything (although I'm sure I still am)! So before you leave the hospital, meet with one and then make appointments with ones in your community! They are angels!
I had stocked up on foods that boost supply and a few supplements as well! I did get my placenta made into pills and I am unsure if they helped or not, but I would do it again! I also used Oat Mama bars and absolutely loved them! Tasty and with milk boosting ingredients, plus gave me the extra calories needed for breastfeeding! Also, Mother's Milk tea! I have also become super familiar with www.kellymom.com which is so beneficial for so many questions I have had. I also follow a Lactation Consultant on IG that gives great tips!

Tip #5: Create a great support system for yourself!
Build a good support system at home, work (if applicable), with a Lactation Consultant, & friends online! Become familiar with supplements and real foods to boost your supply, and know that you are not alone! Breastfeeding and pumping are a lot of work (at least for me) and pumping is super inconvenient for my lifestyle but I make it work because it's what I want to do for my baby. But again, do you, boo! I've spoken numerous times about why I pump/nurse and they are exclusive to me. Don't feel that this is the only way, some great formulas exist out there- heck, I'm a formula baby and came out really healthy! Haha! Seriously, decide what it is you want and go for it!

I hope these tips help! I can talk about breastfeeding for hours, but I think this is a good overview! Let me know if you have any questions!

xoxo,
J

// mamahood: world breastfeeding week //

Today concludes world breastfeeding week! I am amazed at the fact that this is the second week of its kind that I have been proud to celebrate. I have been wanting to write about our breastfeeding journey and this seems like the appropriate time, as we are currently and officially weaning at 18 months.

Our nursing journey has been one of the biggest rollercoasters as a mama and woman I have ever embarked upon. I knew from the moment I was pregnant that I wanted to breastfeed, primarily and solely because I had done so much research on how beneficial it would be for our baby. It helps decrease the chances of diabetes and cancer, among other risk diminutives, both of which my husband has or has had. If I can do anything to decrease my baby's risk of attaining or developing either (or other) diseases, you bet your ass, I am going to.

My midwife and nurses knew that I wanted nothing to do with bottles, pacifiers of formula and I didn't want any pain meds or interventions all with the primary purpose to be able to nurse as soon as our baby wanted to. I even requested for him not to get cleaned up right away so that I could have some skin-to-skin time and let him nurse if he wanted. Not because I'm a strong martyr, but because I wanted what was best for my baby. Not best for anyone else's baby or family- but simply for mine. Because if there's one thing I quickly learned as my girlfriends were having babies, it's that what is best for one mama and her family, is not necessarily best for another. and that is MORE than OKAY! I also quickly learned that everything I ever said I would NOT do...well, I should just shut my mouth because I would do it, and did! *cough*co-sleeping*ahem! Anyway, I was able to follow my birth plan (holy shit, that was the most physically painful experience of my life)!

The first latch, I was praised, was perfect. It hurt like hell, though. It was recommended that I start pumping to bring in my milk faster, since I was so adamant about nursing exclusively. So, I did! Long story as short as it can be, I ended up overproducing....

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You know, I have spent a week trying to write this post. & I can't find a way to shorten it because my journey has been SO long, SO hard and SO amazing, simultaneously.

So let's break it down:

Think of all the issues one can have with breastfeeding and pumping: I had them! From oversupply, to under, to only one boob, to my baby having both a lip tie and a tongue tie and no one believing me (multiple doctors, lactation consultants, and finally a specialist who was our saving grace); followed by everyone telling me to just quit; craniosacral therapy; baby chiropractors; pumping while working; lipase (an enzyme) in my frozen milk; my baby not sleeping and being heavily attached; etc; etc; etc!

But we made it! 18 months strong as can be!

We started the weaning process at 11 months, haha! It took me SEVEN months to wean him! Ahh! But we went slow and steady. I started by substituting one session with (unsweetened almond) milk per week or two until we simply felt ready to replace another feeding. Oliver was extremely attached to me and would NOT take naps or go to sleep at night without nursing to sleep. So that, naturally, became the last feeding that we worked on. I practiced the "don't offer, but don't refuse" approach and that worked well for us. But I started noticing that no matter how much I tried to distract him in hopes of him realizing he didn't need it, he still did. My baby boy was extremely comforted by nursing. It was our time. Only ours. His little eyes would roll back and he would take a deep sigh of comfort. His little body would relax, his toes would uncurl. He would play with my face, or hair, or practice his gymnurstics. It was simply our time. There were other times, when I just felt like a human pacifier. Times I didn't feel that sweet connection, and instead felt that it was a habit. I wondered what it would be like to be a mama who didn't nurse; whose baby or toddler didn't depend on her in such a way.

For months I knew I would be going out of town for a weekend and my anxiety of leaving him for the first time was enormous. I cried at the idea of him calling out for me and not finding me. Of me not being able to comfort him and meet his every moment need, in his times of need. But I did. And so did he. And I came back and realized I hadn't nursed him in two days. TWO WHOLE DAYS and NIGHTS! As soon as he saw me and we settled in, he wanted to nurse. But between G and I, we decided there was no turning back if this was something we really wanted to move forward with. Because TWO WHOLE DAYS AND NIGHTS are too hard to do all over again. So slowly, and painfully, I moved into more and more days. And now, it's been two weeks. The first being the hardest. With my body wanting to continue producing and the pain and discomfort that comes with that. With my baby wanting to nurse and the pain that comes for both of us. But something magical has happened: my baby boy has discovered his Daddy. All of a sudden, there are two parents and he favors, finally. & to see the love and excitement in my husband's eyes every single time he walks in through the door and hears "DAHD!" from his 18 month old boy, I mean...seriously!

I am a bit sad. I am melancholy. I feel like Oliver is growing and changing and I am no longer his number one. Growing pains, I guess. His personality and attitude are adjusting and I am just...there, at times. I know that this transition will smooth out. I thought I would be jumping up for joy, feeling liberated and free. And yet, I feel a bit sad and unsure.

So I am making a conscience effort to turn my attention to my husband, per Oliver's cues. Because our relationship has been put on hold for the last 18 months as I nurtured and fed our baby boy. And now that our baby is a toddler and requires less of me, my husband requires more. So here's to my baby boy and my Babe.

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So last night, after finishing up this blog post during the day, I couldn't get our nursing relationship out of our mind. So I texted Geoff and told him I needed closure and needed to nurse Oliver one more time. His initial reaction was concern for setbacks but immediately told me he would support me in whatever I decided. I have been working 13+ hour days this week so I was so excited and anxious to get home. We did our typical bedtime routine with Oliver choosing a few books to read before bed. This time, he wanted to read in his teepee. We read a couple of books but my heart was racing with nervousness- what if he didn't need me anymore. I asked him if he wanted to nurse- he smiled and nodded and got into position. He latched on hesitantly, a bit unsure about what to do and while he figured it out, he looked up at me, touched my face with his chubby little hand and smiled- first with his eyes, and then with his whole face, lighting up my heart and making tears stream down my face. He repeatedly would drink, look up at me, caress my face or hair, hike up his leg, settle in, smile, chuckle, and exude all the love I needed. It was truly a euphoric experience. It was as if he knew and understood eeeeevery single struggle we went through; every tear of pain, happiness, frustration...each emotional rollercoaster we went on. He understood and was letting his mama know how loved I am and appreciative he is. It may sound silly but I swear it's true. Geoff was with us and we both talked to him a lot...he kept nodding his little head and chuckling and breathing in deep sighs of comfort. His little fingers curled around different parts of my face and hair....and then he started signing for "more" while still latched on. I guess this meant that there wasn't much milk left in there. I told him there was no more and he closed his little eyes, smiled and nodded as if he understood. He started to squeeze with both hands trying to express the little that he could, and because I didn't want him (or I) to get frustrated or ruin this extremely special moment, I asked him if he was all done. He shook his head no, but still latched off. With tears streaming down my face, I asked him for a kiss..He grabbed my face as he usually does, and gave me a dozen kisses. It was the PERFECT seal to our experience. Sigh. These words cannot even convey how this felt. I took him to his bed and laid him down. He grabbed his cup, his Lobo, and then for the first time, grabbed his comfort blankies (that he has never used but we keep in his crib, juuust in case) and snuggled it all...He stuck his little chubby baby hand through the railings of his crib, said "hi," grabbed my hand and after some tossing, turning, conversation, and snuggling, drifted off to sleep...

I am so grateful for this experience. It has changed me in more ways than I never imagined. I am stronger, more determined, more capable. I believe in myself, in my body, in my mamahood experience. I have had the most amazing support and have been able to share this experience. I have been motivated and inspired. I don't know where this leaves my nursing relationship. But I am not looking to label it. If last night was our final session, then so be it. If today, we nurse again, then so be it. All I know is that I needed that and I truly believe my baby boy did, too.

Forever in love.